You scream, I scream, we all scream for...decent parenting!

The work week is over and what better way to celebrate than with a Mr. Softee ice cream cone. Delicious, satisfying and definitely recession friendly. If parents have their way in Brooklyn however, Mr. Softee’s treats might be heading the way of old Coney Island.

Don't mind me while I get up on my soap box.

What is wrong with people?!?! The Daily News [via Gothamist] ran an article about parents complaining about Mr. Softee’s seemingly permanent hold up outside their neighborhood’s schools and park

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s. Complain about the incessant jingle if you want, that's fine. But this was too pathetic good to pass up. Let’s start with an excerpt from Parenting 101, shall we?

“It’s very frustrating that they’re here every day. You’re a trapped audience. It’s hard to say no to your kids.”

Oh really? It’s hard being a parent? You seriously didn't decide to have a child because you wanted a best friend, did you? If you wanted a friend, you should have gone with a cat. Maybe a dog if your landlord allows it. It's called parenting, people. Had I been allowed to get ice cream every time the Good Humor truck rolled in to the beach parking lot I'd be as wide as I am tall (okay that's not saying much) and my parents would have been asking the driver if he took MasterCard. But I was told no. Do you know what I did when I was told that? I pouted for .04 seconds before grabbing my shovel and continuing on my sandcastle.

But Mom of The Year wasn’t done yet.

“I’ve had fights with my daughter in the past about it. You kind of feel like it’s pushed on you.”

Pushed on you, huh? Do you know what’s pushed on you? EVERYTHING. You live in New York FREAKING City, where every possible inch of real estate is plastered with advertisements. Hell, there’s a neighborhood that is famous for its ads. I can't walk three feet in this town without seeing an advertisement for The Hangover, some overpriced (and vacant) luxury condo, or Bud Light...all while getting bugged by a vegan-only-eating bum for my spare change. Should Jameson be at fault for advertising on your child’s subway to school? Should Starbucks be condemned for setting up shop on every corner in sleep-deprived Midtown? Lady, it’s called doing business. I commend the entrepreneurs who spent thousands of dollars for the right to be next to your precious park. It’s not like they’re selling drugs or anything.

“It’s one thing if they’re just in the neighborhood, but to be here by contract [with the city], they might as well be selling drugs.”

You. Have. To. Be. Kidding.

Let us pause a moment to really let that sink in. Can we move on now? Should we even? We should and we shall.

Not to worry, crappy parents. Assemblyman Felix Ortiz is coming to your rescue.

“If they are not providing different choices and alternatives for our kids, then they do not belong there."

There are different choices. Tell your child, "No you can't have ice cream, dinner is in an hour." Be a PARENT. Mind you, Mr. Ortiz will get behind any "good" cause included but not limited to taxing dancers of the night, terrible parenting (oh the irony), insane campaigns taxes meant to curb underage drinking, and more insane taxes on video games and movies. And oh yeah I almost forgot- alcohol ads on subways are in Mr. Ortiz's line of sight. Pretty soon the only ads you'll be seeing on your ride to work will be for bunion surgery. Are those images not more damaging?

I'll let a random Mr. Softee's driver plead the case of all drug-pushing, chocolate cone-dipping criminals out there:

“We’re not pushing anybody to eat ice cream. As a parent, you have to know how to say no.”

Case closed.

Look at all of the children getting their way!